What Exactly Do You Do?

I get that question a lot. Usually I respond with the simple short answer of "I'm a stay-at-home mom. Oh yeah and I also teach piano lessons to 17 piano students." (for some reason I always forget that I teach piano).

But lately when people ask that question, they really want to know what my role is in the church. Dean is the pastor of the church we planted about 4 years ago and so surely I must have all sorts of odds and ends that I do at church. No, I don't lead the ladies' quilting club or run the children's ministry. I always enjoyed leading small groups, so that's what I initially did. For some reason that I still can't figure out, about 20 college girls would come all the way out to our house (which from FSU may as well be Guam) every Saturday morning for about a year. I think it was because I served an entire breakfast spread each week, but I'll never know for sure. They will surely remember Tommy as a baby crawling in the midst of them while we discussed Romans.

I've led a few other groups since then, but after Ty was born, I really had to cut back. I felt really bad about it at first and I still miss doing it, but my role has changed. Now whenever people ask what my role is in the church, I can confidently answer "pastoral support staff". I make sure our children and home are taken care of so Dean can do what he does. Sometimes that means picking up DVD's off the floor for the fifth time in a day (it usually does). It means having some sort of order in our house so that everyone gets to eat dinner and the kids aren't going nutty when Dean gets home every day. Sometimes they are going nutty but I try to not make that the norm. It means budgeting for extra groceries so we can have friends over for dinner, both from church and outside of church. It means being there for Dean as his wife, supporting him and loving him unconditionally.

I actually have a pretty easy job, relatively speaking. It's much easier to do all that when I have an incredible husband who supports what I do at home and makes it clear that I'm not expected to do things like lead the quilting club or children's ministry, or any other typical pastor's wife role (although, true to stereotype, I do occasionally play the keyboard at church). I would encourage any other ministry wife to look at her role in the same way, if that's possible. Don't allow outside pressures to define who you are or what you do. That may look different for you depending on what season of life you're in. And if you're a stay-at-home mom, it certainly doesn't have to look like "1958 called and they want their housewife back". If you remember why you're doing what you're doing, it will be easier "Whatever you do, whether in word or in deed, do it as working for the Lord, not for men"