It's amazing how you kind of go full circle from when you're a kid to when you're an adult. Tommy really really really wants "The zoo I don't have". That's exactly what he'll tell you. And when you ask him what else, he says nothing. That's not so hard (except that this zoo was impossible to find, and only thanks to Uncle Todd, he'll be getting the zoo he doesn't have). I'm sure in the next few years consumerism will take over and he'll have a list a mile long. Now, that didn't stop us from getting him more gifts, but I just thought it was interesting that he'd most certainly be happy just getting one present.
I was that way when I was little (I think). Then when I got a little older, I had a million things I wanted. Now that I'm a responsible adult, I realize there's not much I can think of that I want. Maybe a pedicure. And a good Bible (I'm notorious for losing them). But really, that's it. Yet here it is on Christmas Eve and I'm fretting and running around trying to make sure things are perfect (they're not). I've discovered a great cinnamon raisin bread so I'm trying to make lots of that (each loaf takes about 4 hours) and I'm trying to keep the house clean while Tommy runs behind me and throws everything on the floor that I've just put in place. I found myself thinking this morning that all I want for Christmas is a day off.
And I realized how sinful that was.
Of all times, the Christmas season should be the least stressful. After all, don't we say "Jesus is the Reason for the Season?" (well, I don't because I think it sounds corny but the meaning is still true) And here I am, fuming while cleaning the kitchen floor for the second time in three minutes because Tommy opened one of those huge tins of popcorn and proceeded to dump it out, step in it, and eat what he had stepped in. Gross! And minutes later all I could think of was the verse that says "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Granted, that's not talking about being tired from cleaning and cooking, but the principle applied. I say I'm trying to make Jesus the center of everything, but really I was (and have been) relying on my own strength for everything I do.
I have to be the perfect mom. The perfect wife. Not only the perfect wife, but the perfect pastor's wife. The perfect friend.
And I'm not.
And now I can finally rest in that and realize it's ok. And that's what I want for Christmas.
No comments:
Post a Comment